I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
