just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
