Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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