Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
