If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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