the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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