Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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