vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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