we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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