Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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