Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
