put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm too high and old for this...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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