I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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