i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize