ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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