Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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