Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize