either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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