i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
