I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
