it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize