after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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