yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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