I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
