He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
