Betty ford says i'm here all night
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
