Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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