i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
