in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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