they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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