I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
