I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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