I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
