Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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