I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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