Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
