um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize