They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
