You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize