i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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