I must be too annoying 4 u.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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