oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
