I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
