I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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