I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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