I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
