so let's talk penis.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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