some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This house was built for laser tag.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
