She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
