did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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