I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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