whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
