Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I understand Curling. That high.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
