i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
