We're facebook friends in real life
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
