Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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