bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
