yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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