i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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