Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
