He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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