I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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